


It's Still a Terrible Life

by Writer_Geekgirl



Series: Castiel and Dean: An AU Love Story [19]
Category: Supernatural
Genre: Accountant Castiel (Supernatural), Alternate Universe, Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Episode: s04e17 It's a Terrible Life, Fluff and Angst, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-10-20
Updated: 2018-10-20
Packaged: 2019-08-04 17:01:24
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,602
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16350614
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Writer_Geekgirl/pseuds/Writer_Geekgirl
Summary: In the ongoing series in which the Winchesters visit alternate realities, Dean travels back alone to the Sandover Bridge and Iron company that the angel Zachariah had sent him previously. There, Sam is not his brother and Castiel is his assistant at the office building. Dean can't find his way out of this reality.This work is part of the Destiel Promptober in which there is a different AU theme for each day in October. The AU for the day is It's a Terrible Life Verse.





	It's Still a Terrible Life

Dean took the Impala for a long drive to clear his head. His journeys through alternate universes and conversations with Castiel had unnerved him. He decided the best thing to do was to take some time for himself. He drove until he was exhausted, and then he pulled over in a field. He relaxed on the hood of the car, watching the stars above him. Slowly, he drifted off to sleep.

When he woke up, he saw a ceiling above him and cursed. He had shifted to another alternate reality, and this time found himself in a bedroom that looked like something out of an architectural digest. He looked in disdain at the modern furniture before realizing he had seen this bedroom before. He saw his wallet on the nightstand and pulled it opened. He frowned as he read the name Dean Smith on his driver's license. He muttered to himself, "Of all the crappy places to be sent, Sandover Bridge and Iron is at the top of my list." He hated that place--it was where he met Zachariah and he had a desk job.

His alarm went off and he realized it was 6 a.m., time for work. He grumbled as he went to take a shower. He wrinkled his nose in disgust at the suit he put on. The tie was entirely too wide, and the shoes were freaking loafers. He glanced in the refrigerator to get something to eat and groaned at the lack of food he actually would eat. He found the fuel-efficient car that the douche version of him drove and headed into the office.

He went to his office with the intention to call Sam as soon as work started for the tech support department. When he stepped off the elevator, he stopped with a surprised look. Castiel was sitting at a desk outside his office that was obviously meant for Dean Smith's assistant. As Dean approached the desk, Castiel took a cup of coffee from a bag and handed it to him without a greeting.

"Mr. Smith, Mr. Adler wants to meet with you at 10 a.m. I had to reschedule your call to Adams Corp to accommodate him. Here are the forms T-22 and R-5 that you requested."

After Castiel turned back to his computer, Dean said, "Good morning to you, Cas."

Castiel turned to face him with a raised eyebrow. "Am I expected to return the salutation? You told me previously you did not want any small talk in the morning."

Dean gave him a disgruntled look, "You can make all the small talk you want, Cas. Could you ummm… do me a favor and ask Sam Wesson to come to check out my computer when he gets in. It's doing this thing."

"Good morning then, Mr. Smith." Castiel flashed a brief smile as he turned back. "Your list of contacts to call today are on your desk, as well as the sales projections for the next four weeks."

Dean walked into his office and dropped into the chair. He vaguely remembered how to do the stuff from the memories that Zachariah had planted in his head. He muttered, "Just got to play the part."

A half hour later, he was rubbing the back of his neck while trying to concentrate on the numbers. He sighed when his stomach let out a large rumble.

Castiel appeared in his doorway, "Do you need me to pick you up something for breakfast?"

"Could I get a donut or a bagel or anything? I can go get it myself if you tell me where."

Castiel looked confused, "What?"

"Real food, where can I get some?"

"Something not vegan?" Castiel said perplexed.

Dean snorted, "I gave that up. Found I can't live without bacon."

Castiel said, "I'll go get you something from the cafeteria, sir."

Dean said, "Stop calling me sir or Mr. Smith, Cas. It just ain't right. Call me Dean."

Castiel stared at him, "Mr. Adler doesn't like that degree of familiarity."

"Then don't do it in front of him. When it's just the two of us, call me Dean."

"Yes, Mr. Smi… Dean. I'll be right back."

Dean sighed and started staring at the numbers. A soft knock sounded at his door a moment later. Sam stood outside the door, hesitating, "Mr. Smith? I got a message you needed to see me."

"How long have we known each other?"

"Since I started here three weeks ago," Sam looked at him doubtfully.

"Well, my printer keeps making weird noises." Dean didn't know if the printer made weird noises or not, but he needed some excuse for calling Sam here. Dean felt dismayed that it looked like he was on his own in this reality this time.

Sam turned the printer off and on, and then adjusted all the cables on the printer before saying, "Could you please try to print again, Mr. Smith?"

Dean sighed and sent an email to the printer. It worked flawlessly. "Thank you, Sam."

"No problem, sir. Let me know if it gives you any problems."

"Hey, Sam. Are there any weird things going on out there on the floor? Was anyone sent to HR? Anything at all that was unexpected?"

Sam looked concerned, "Not that I know of, sir. Is there something I should be worried about?"

"No, no. I just like to ask what the people on the floor feel like sometimes. How's the work-life balance? You have enough time to spend with your family?"

"Yes. My fiancée, Eileen, likes that we have flexible hours, so I can come in early and leave at 5. We volunteered to teach sign language at the youth center."

"Good, Sam, Good. Keep up the excellent work." After Sam left, Dean stood up to pace across the room. So, it didn’t seem like the place was haunted. Sam actually had people in this reality, unlike when they found themselves here previously.

Castiel entered the office with a bag. "I wasn't sure what you would like, Dean. So, I got a bagel, a donut, some fruit, and scrambled eggs and bacon. If you would like something else, please let me know."

Dean looked in the bag that had enough food to feed three or four people. "Sit down and eat with me, Cas."

Castiel hesitated before sitting across from Dean. "Pick your poison, Cas?"

"Huh?"

"Which of the things in this bag would you like to eat? Humor me."

Castiel said cautiously, "A bagel?"

Dean handed him the bagel before starting on the scrambled eggs and bacon. "So, Cas, can you explain the numbers in this report to me?"

"They are the projections for sales growth and profit margins if we outsource some of the jobs to the Asia Pacific region. If we close the factories in Duluth…"

"Close, as in layoff people?"

A short, portly man in a suit walked in the door, "Dean, I wanted to speak with you. Novak, what are you doing in here?" The man looked at Castiel in disdain.

Castiel stood up nervously, "I'm sorry, Mr. Adler. I was just…"

"Talking about some reports with me. I felt it was more efficient to do it as we ate breakfast," Dean interrupted. Adler didn't look like Zachariah, so there was one positive.

Castiel scrambled out of the office. "I'll get you those reports by noon, Mr. Smith."

Adler looked at Dean and said, "If you would like me to get you a different assistant, I can. Novak has frankly been a disappointment."

Dean said, "No, thank you. The two of us are a good team."

"Ok, but the offer stands. If you want him out of here, I can replace. Tessa in accounting would be a wonderful assistant. She has many nice ass…ets." Adler smirked at him.

"I'm good with Novak. You wanted to see me?"

"Yes, run through this list of contacts to check out potential new sales opportunities in Michigan. We're down 4% there. The big bosses are worried."

Dean took the list of contacts. After Adler left, he dutifully sat down and started making the sales calls. At noon, Castiel knocked on the door. "Mr. Smith, I'm running to the deli. Should I bring back a salad for you?"

"Turkey on rye. Chips if they have them," Dean said, still staring at his computer. He looked up a smiled at Castiel, "Thank you, Cas. And remember it's Dean when we are Adler-less."

Castiel responded with a small smile, "As you wish."

Dean leaned back in his chair. This had to be the most boring alternate universe yet. When he got home tonight, he would try to assemble an EMF detector to see if the place was haunted or something. Only, he really hoped that he'd go home before he needed to. None of the reality shifts had ever gone more than a day.

As the day progressed, Dean got engrossed in his work. He was still working at 8 when Castiel knocked on the door. Castiel said, "I'm taking off. Is there anything you need before I go?"

"No, I'm good, Cas. Have a good night." As he heard the elevator's door closed as Castiel left the floor, he realized how late it was. "What the hell am I still doing here?" He picked up his briefcase, shoved some papers in it, and headed home.

He went through a drive through to get a hamburger and fries before going to his apartment. He logged into Amazon to order parts for an EMF detector. And then he sat there, looking at the screen blankly. He had made dozens of them. He panicked as he headed to the mirror in the bathroom. He stared at himself in the mirror before saying, "My name is Dean Winchester. Sam is my brother. Uh, Mary Winchester is my mom. And Cas is my best friend." He took a deep breath and relaxed. He might not know how to construct an EMF detector right now, but his own identity was firmly implanted in his head. He went to a cabinet and pulled out a notebook. He knew right where to go to get the paper even though he hadn't opened that cabinet before.

He sat at the table and wrote.

 **Day** 1  
_My name is Dean Winchester. Sam is my brother. Mary Winchester is my mom. Castiel (the angel) is my best friend and stuff. Saving People, Hunting things. The family business._

For the next two weeks, he continued to write each night. He worked hard, sought out Sam as often as he could without being creepy, and became closer to the Castiel in this reality. On the 14th day, he reviewed his entries.

**Day 2**  
_Still Dean Winchester. I'm going to list how to kill things tonight. Werewolves - silver bullets. Zombies - bullet in the head or decapitation. Ghosts - salt and burn. Vampires - dead man's blood or decapitation. Leviathan - borax. Demons - hard to do without an angel blade or the demon blade. Use a devil's trap and exorcize them._

**Day 3**  
_Some of the sigils and wards are getting fuzzy in my head so I'm going to draw them on the back pages of the notebook._

**Day 4**  
_Why am I still here? I'm doing my part. I am playing my role. I tried to remember how to change Baby's spark plugs today, and I can't._

**Day 5**  
_I called the Dean's here parents. When Sam and I came to Sandover previously, Sam and I couldn't reach our supposed family. But, I reached Bobby and talked to Ellen and Jo. They are real. I purposely spilled a soda into my keyboard, so I could make Sam_ come _talk to me. He told me about his parents, Mary and John. They are alive and live in Lawrence, Kansas._

**Day 6**  
_Castiel is a friggin' genius. He's great with numbers. He managed to pull together projections of other ways to boost profit margins without closing Duluth. He should have my job. I miss my Castiel though._

**Day 7**  
_What if the Dean Winchester thing was sort of a psychotic break? I mean I read the newspaper and surfed the internet all day on Sunday. I don't see cases as I expected. There doesn't seem to be anything that goes bump in the night._

**Day 8**  
_I look back on those sigils I wrote in the back of this notebook, and they don't make sense anymore. I can remember growing up with Bobby and Ellen in South Dakota. I remember Jo being my little sister. But, I also remember Sam being my brother and my parents dying. Why am I here? Am I supposed to be here?_

**Day 9**  
_I spent the day looking up events I know me and Sam stopped. There were no apocalyptic signs in 2010. The Leviathan thing never occurred. Sucracorp went bankrupt, and Dick Roman is doing 10-15 for embezzlement. The plane that Sam and I saved back in 2005 actually crashed. I would think this was a Djinn thing, but this is hardly my idea of a good life. I work too hard; Cas is basically my only real friend. I wonder if that's because he's paid to be with me._

**Day 10**  
_There are no Ghostfacers._

**Day 11**  
_Castiel and I had grabbed dinner after work tonight. He's funny. I keep comparing him in my head to 'my Cas.' Is my Cas even real? Castiel does funny accents and tells incredibly bad puns. He also knows how to tie his tie right. He doesn't wear a trench coat._

**Day 12**  
_I pulled up Google maps to find the location of the bunker. There's a Gas N Sip there. No bunker. I have no other home._

**Day 13**  
_I asked Castiel out on a date. It's probably a bad idea since he works with me. But, I've always been chockful of really bad ideas._

**Day 14**  
_My name is Dean Smith. My father's name is Bobby. My mother's name is Ellen. And Jo is my little sister._

Dean finished rereading the notebook before shoving it to the back of his closet. He walked out of his apartment in new jeans, a plaid shirt, and work boots. He and Castiel decided to be casual, go to a diner, and then to see a special screening of the 'good' Star Wars trilogy at a small theatre. People acted out scenes on the stage as the movies played, and everyone quoted the lines. Castiel was an even bigger Star Wars geek than he was.

When Dean arrived in front of Castiel's building, he was standing outside, waiting in jeans, a blue button-up shirt, and a tan trench coat. Dean gulped at the sight of the trench coat. He couldn't stop staring at it. Castiel never wore it to work.

When Castiel slid into the car, Dean said, "What's up with the trench coat, Cas?"

Castiel shrugged, "It's a bit cold. I used to wear this all the time, but Adler hates it."

Dean snorted, "If Adler hates something, it probably means it's good. Ass butt."

Castiel raised an eyebrow, "Ass butt? That's a new one."

Dean was tense as he drove to the diner, but he couldn't figure out why. Castiel was being his usual, funny self. He was amusing him by pointing at people and making up an accent and a backstory for them.

At the diner, Castiel ordered a hamburger, while Dean ordered chicken tenders. Dean wanted to order a cheeseburger because that felt right, but it felt too right. Dean couldn't explain it.

When the food arrived, Castiel took a big bite of his hamburger and said, "These make me very happy."

Dean had a flashback to when his Castiel said that while they were in the Impala looking for famine. Castiel had eaten over a hundred hamburgers that night. Dean felt nauseous. "Excuse me, Cas." He ran to the bathroom and threw up in a stall. He began hyperventilating.

After about ten minutes, Castiel came into the restroom. He asked worriedly, "Are you okay, Dean?"

Dean mumbled, "Have a headache. Not feeling well."

Castiel put his arm around him. "Let's get you to the car. I'll drive you home and get an Uber back to my place."

"Sorry to ruin our date."

"I’m more worried about you than the date, Dean." Castiel escorted Dean past their table, where he dropped enough money to pay their check and a generous tip. When they got to the car, Castiel took the keys from him and drove him home. He escorted him to Dean's apartment door and started to say goodnight when Dean stopped him.

"Come in, Cas, please. I'm the worst date ever, but maybe we can watch a movie here or something and salvage it."

Castiel replied, "If you are sure, Dean. Or I can take a raincheck for another time."

Dean answered by holding Castiel's hand while unlocking his door. "Cas, pick a movie. There are BluRays in the cabinet underneath the television or we can Netflix."

When Dean came back with two ice teas and some cheese and crackers, Castiel had selected a Marvel movie. Dean sat on the couch and Castiel said next to him, close but not quite touching. As the movie went on, Dean worked his arm around Castiel and had pulled him close. When the movie ended, Castiel had completely relaxed into Dean with his head on his shoulder. Dean grumbled, "I want to kiss you, but you'd probably appreciate it if I brushed my teeth first."

Castiel smiled, "I'll be waiting."

Dean stared at himself in the mirror over the sink as he brushed his teeth. After rinsing his mouth, he said quietly, "My name is Dean Smith. My parents are Bobby and Ellen. Jo is my sister. And Cas…Cas is my…" Dean closed his eyes. "Cas is my angel."

He returned to the living room, where Castiel had queued up another movie. "I didn't know if you'd want to watch another or not, but we still have time if you do."

"Can I kiss you, Cas?"

Castiel smirked, "Mr. Adler wouldn't like it."

Dean grinned, "That just means it will be good." Dean pulled Castiel into his arms and kissed him passionately. Castiel responded in kind. Castiel pushed Dean's plaid shirt off of him and then slipped his hands under Dean's t-shirt. After a moment, Dean pulled off his shirt to give Castiel better access. Castiel's fingers brushed his lower back before moving to the front.

Dean started unbuttoning Castiel's shirt, distracted as Cas' hands moved to cup his rear as he slotted his leg between Dean's and started grinding against him. Dean moaned as he finished with the final button. He looked up to kiss Castiel. Castiel was looking at him with want and need written clearly across his face.

Dean's mind flashed back to Castiel lying dead on the ground with his wings etched in the dirt, Castiel holding an FBI badge upside down, Castiel riding shotgun in a black Impala, Castiel healing him after his brother jumped into the cage, Castiel at the river bank in Purgatory, Castiel standing between him and Sam as they faced Lucifer, Castiel holding the demon version of him to prevent Sam from getting killed by a hammer, the first time he and his Castiel had kissed. The images flashed more rapidly through his mind as Dean gasped and held his head. Castiel looked at him confused and worried.

"Are you okay, Dean?" Dean started to slump, but Castiel held him up. He helped him back to the couch. "You're scaring me, Dean? Should I call an ambulance?"

Dean gritted out, "No, Cas. Just give me a minute." Dean closed his eyes as the images began to fade.

Castiel asked gently, "Do you have PTSD or anxiety attacks, Dean?"

"Yeah, Cas. I'm really sorry. Before coming to Sandover, I'd been to hell and back."

Castiel went to his kitchen to get him a glass of water. After ensuring Dean drank some, Castiel snagged his shirt off the ground. He slipped it back on and buttoned it before sitting on the couch next to Dean.

"Dean, if I did something wrong, I'm so very sorry."

Dean scoffed, "You were doing everything right, Cas. I'm just messed up. I thought everything was ok, but it's not. I'm not."

"Do you want me to call your family or anything?"

"I don't think you could get hold of them, Cas."

Castiel stood up and got his trench coat from the coat rack where he hung it. "If you need me, all you need to do is call, Dean."

Dean wanted him to stay; he didn't want him to leave. However, he deep down knew he had to let him go. "Night, Cas." He stood up and walked over to Castiel, kissing him gently. "Cas, can you tell Adler I won't be in tomorrow?"

"Of course, Dean. Dean, if you ever want to go out again, I'm game. We don't have to get intimate. We can just be friends, but I do want to spend time with you. Ok?"

Dean smiled at him, "It's a date, sunshine."

Castiel left, and Dean suddenly felt bereft. He walked to the bathroom and looked at himself in the mirror. "My name is Dean Winchester. Sam is my brother. Mary Winchester is my mom. And Cas is the angel I love. Why the hell am I still here?"

He walked to the closet and took out his notebook. He sat down to write what happened that day.


End file.
